When I was young it was an exciting moment when I could give my mother a hand made card or gift that I had crafted...as I became a teenager I looked forward to the attention my mom got in church as she was the only mom that had a traditional lei. I looked forward to the day I would have a special day or recognition because I was a mother.
Four years ago Mother's Day became one of the most emotional days of the whole year for me! I was pregnant and was placing my baby (due in a short month) for adoption. Although I LOVED the couple that would be adopting {Kase} and knew that my decision to place him was the right thing for me, at that time, to do....it was hard to think about sometimes! But what was even harder for me to think about was the thought of never being able to have a child (in this life)! I could not imagine the pain that woman struggling to expand their family and failing each time must feel, and I knew that I probably would never experience that struggling in my own life (seeing as I now knew I could have children....oops!!) The overwhelming happiness that this couple was going to feel, the thought that I would change someone's life forever and give them a huge blessing is what kept me from straying from the path that I had chosen after learning of my situation. Heavenly Father blessed me in my own struggle to know that it would work out for me....I would have an eternal family of my own someday if I lived my life differently than I had been. He blessed me with the perfect family to place that sweet, little baby with, and He blessed me to know that being a mother was the greatest calling. Mother's Day was a hard day for me that year (the overwhelming emotions of pregnancy didn't help!) I remember as I sat in church, a baby blessing was announced and I just started crying...I had to leave the chapel!
I have never questioned or regretted the decision to place {Kase}, but each Mother's Day was a struggle for me. The next Mother's Day, I was attending the singles ward and had to speak in church! The topic was 'Preparing for Motherhood'....awesome! I so knew that I would be a wreck that day and was DREADING it!! I wrote my talk and read it line for line, barley looking up from my paper and barely choking out the words!
The year after that I was almost engaged...we knew it was gonna happen sometime....and it was easier to make it through Mother's Day...still hard but doable. The year after that (last year) I was married to a wonderful, worthy, handsome, sweet, and all those words that describe the perfect husband. It was around that time, just shortly after Mother's Day that we decided we would see what happened if we stopped trying to not get pregnant. Well, what happened was we got pregnant...
This year I have a beautiful, sweet, healthy, cute, and according to his mother...perfect little baby boy and I am experiencing Mother's Day in a whole different way, with a whole new set of crazy emotions!
Being a mother really is the greatest calling and I am so grateful to my Father on Heaven for the blessing of motherhood. I am so grateful for the awesome mothers that I know...and I know SO many AWESOME moms!
I love my mother-in-law for raising my husband and teaching him everything she did.
I am grateful for Kristi and the answered prayer see was four years ago and the great example and sister she is to me now!
I am grateful, especially, for my own mother today! She is the most loving woman I know and I am grateful that she loved and loves me unconditionally! (Since we are on the subject...not once through my 1st pregnancy did she ever make me feel stupid...she knew I knew right from wrong because she had taught me, she knew I knew my actions to get into that situation were wrong...she loved me and helped me and she hurt for me and supported me. And now see loves are expanded adopted family!)
There are no words to describe the love I have for my mother, or the blessing of being a mother, or the pain that is felt by those who desire to be a mother but are struggling or struggled for years and never did or aren't there yet but want to be (....don't worry, I promise you will someday! This life or the one to come), or the pain of loosing a child, or the happiness and love of our Father in Heaven to those who helped bless a woman to become a mother;)
Happy Mother's Day!
